I apologize for not updating in the past day or so.  I have no had the time, energy, or will to do so.  I believe that I am sinking slower into my Kaiba resistance clan, because everything has come clear.  I seek this computer as not a means to ruin myself, but as a sanctuary.  It has always been so, since I started playing HL three years ago.  I simply ruined myself.  But, what can I do?  I love Marik so much, and my only means of seeing him is the television and the computer, and both take up time.  Goodness, I wish I had some way of having Yu-Gi-Oh shows whenever I wanted them.

  I hate acting so weak, when really, I am so very strong.  I am trapped in this shit hole where I don't want to be, and am trying to get out - just like Marik.  We have so many things in common.

  I always invisioned myself as a strong, powerful being, one which people eyed with jealousy.  I will become that person.  I just need more time.  If only I had more time....

  Good damet.  Please excuse my outrage...

  F***N people.    They drive me mad.    FOOLS.  All of them.  Someday, someday...